The following is a fictional account, loosely based on e-mails and conversations read and heard throughout the Mac world this week as bleeding-edge users anxiously awaited the arrival of their copy of Panther, or OS X 10.3, the latest version of Apple’s next-generation operating system.

Wednesday, 10 a.m., from Macnut78: "It’s Wednesday morning, and I’m really excited, because now I’ve got a tracking number from Apple. Usually, they use Airborne Express, but this time, they’re using Fed Ex. Is this a sign that they’re trying to coordinate something, or make sure that it gets here on time? I sure hope so. I’m in bad need of some ‘Expose.’"

Wednesday, 11:45 a.m., from Macnut78: "I checked the Fed Ex site using my tracking number, and it says the package is sitting at the distribution facility in Denver, sitting on top of 123 other Panther packages headed elsewhere (sorry, I don’t have information on your packages). The man who will be my pilot is currently eating lunch, but as soon as he’s done, it will be on his plane and headed toward the East Coast. Finish those fries, man! You got my Font Book!"

Wednesday, 1:37 p.m., from Macnut78: "According to Fed Ex, the package (and 45 of those other Panther packages I told you about!) are in the belly of the plane. They’ve hit some turbulence over the heartland, but they expect to land in Ohio without a hitch."

Wednesday, 1:48 p.m., from Voiceofreason92: "Dude. Chill. It will get there. Don’t you have a job or something?"

Wednesday, 5:45 p.m., from Macnut78: "Yes, I’ve got a job! I was at work when I wrote those e-mails. It only takes a couple of minutes to check on the status of a package, you know. Besides, if I don’t keep track of the package, how will I know when it’s about to arrive so I can be there to get it? Anyway, for those of you who are interested, Panther is now currently sleeping in the Ohio sorting facility. It will be on trucks from here on out. Apparently, Jeffrey Donovan, last year’s Ohio Driver of the Year, will be behind the wheel! I can’t believe my luck! Thank God it wasn’t Jon Lovturek, who has quite a spotty history and caused my delivery of Jaguar to be two days late. I don’t want a repeat of that."

Thursday, 6:51 a.m., from Macnut78: "The Panther is awake! And it’s on the truck! It’s actually on its way to my house! I can’t wait…"

Thursday, 10:24 a.m., from Macnut78: "It’s still on the truck. Apparently, there are a lot of deliveries ahead of mine."

Thursday, 4:35 p.m., from Macnut78: "It’s here! It’s here! OMG, it’s here! Be sure to check my Web site in several hours, there will be pictures. Pictures of the box, of the CDs, of the screen as I install, and of Expose and fast user switching in action! Thank you Apple!"

OK, so I’m poking fun a bit here. It’s not meant to offend anyone. Most of us on the boards and on the e-mail lists have not been quite as nutty as this guy, but some of us have been close.

That’s not a bad thing! It’s great to be a fan of a company that inspires such devotion in its users. You don’t see Windows users writing such messages about their Longhorn delivery, do you?

Oh wait, that’s because Longhorn isn’t due to ship until later this Century.